around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
