After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
it glows. i had to have it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
