They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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