Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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