I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We got so high we made milksteak
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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