drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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