We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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