But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
