Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
