we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
