Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
