I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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