I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
