She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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