You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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