dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
