so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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