i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
