ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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