she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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