i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
