Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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