i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'd cum for enchiladas.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
