Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you traded sex for a burrito?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize