They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
