living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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