i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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