I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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