Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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