I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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