I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
