Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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