how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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