I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
