Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
