you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
