my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just invented taco cereal.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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