question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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