first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
did you just send me my own nude
Drunk is not a location!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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