A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
