im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
