is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
