sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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