God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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