If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
