my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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