the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
