Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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