Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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