Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
