Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
