im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
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