I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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