Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
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i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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