i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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