The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
