i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
