drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
