Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
