I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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