Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
