Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
